We all know Jack’s pizza, right? I certainly thought so… until today. I figured that no matter where I was in the US, I could open a freezer and fish a Jack’s pizza out of the bottom. I even found this brief poem on their website: “When a freezer door closes, an oven opens.” I believe that was written by Edgar Allen Poe during the lost days leading up to his death. Jack’s is rarely a pizza you eat intentionally, it’s an “in case of emergency” type thing. While I was on their site to grab a picture of this staple of the drunk tank, I noticed that they are manufactured/founded in Wisconsin. So, is it a national brand at all? Turns out, no. I’ve checked with friends in New York, California, and random samplings in between, but none knew about Jack’s. My whole life has been a lie. I even previously referred to a standard thin crust low material pizza as being “Jack’s Tier” because of the the universal recognition. I guess it’s time to acknowledge that there is actually a different (sub)standard pizza that everyone DOES have access to: Digorno’s. May God have mercy on us all. I’m still not going to change the Jack’s tier.

Pros:

• Seriously, if you live in the midwest you already know this pizza well.

Cons:

• Not enough cheese. (-1 point)

• Not enough toppings. (-1 point)

• Sauce sucks. (-1 point)

7/10