I knew that part of this journey would be eating “diet pizzas.” I just wasn’t ready for how awful the very first one would be. I’m not even totally sure this would classify as a diet pizza, since they managed to make it a lower caloric value by simply making it TINY and not putting anything on it. It’s not Gluten Free, it’s not Dairy Free, it’s not totally keto because there are still sugars in it. It’s low carb, I suppose. Again, that could basically be achieved by just making the whole pizza the size of two slices of a normal pizza. Anyway, this pizza is bad and no one should eat it.

Pros:

• It is, I suppose, low calorie.

Cons:

• The sauce tasted like rotting tomatoes covered in another rotten spice. (-2 points)

• The cheese looked like someone sprinkled a teaspoon of shredded parmesan on it and called it good. (-2 points)

• I think someone made the crust by taking powdered milk, mixing it with jello, then letting it dry out in the sun. (-2 points)

• The pepperoni was also low effort. (-1 point)

3/10