I can’t recall if I actually ate this pizza or just had a dream in which a mustachioed man was screaming at me, and throwing spaghetti in my eyes. It’s like a fever dream from a distant relative. Who are they? How did their thoughts enter my mind?

Pros:

• Good amount of toppings

• Good cheese

• There’s a mustache on the box you can remove and put on your upper lip, but it works like the Mask from the titular movie. You’ll wake up days later with a pistol, covered in Cameron Diaz’s blood. I don’t know if this is a pro or a con.

Cons:

• Not enough cheese (-1 point)

• Crust was ok (-1 point)

8/10