Even though you can’t take this baby out to the salt flats or go muddin’ with it, I would still say that this pizza qualifies as something of a utility. Everyone needs that one frozen pizza they keep in the back of the freezer that they crack open in case of emergency. It’s lower in caloric content, it absorbs alcohol fairly well, and it’s what you’re going to have to eat when you accidentally put moldy ingredients in your casserole. I’m considering calling this the “Jack’s tier” of pizza.

Pros:

• Satisfied my big hungry mouth

• Put the toppings on top of the cheese so you can move ‘em around a bit to make a smiley face when you’re feeling down, or a heart on Valentine’s day. Doubles a great last meal before you kill yourself.

Cons:

• Not much flavor, but that’s probably ok. (-1 point)

• Smaller in size, but less calories. (-1 point)

• So forgettable I forgot to take a picture of it and forgot what it was called so I had to dig the wrappings out of the trash. (-1 point)

7/10