I ate this pizza live on instagram, to celebrate it being the 60th bullet I’ve taken for the planet. If you missed it, you’ll just have to imagine the dead eyes of a man who can no longer enjoy the thing he once loved most in life. I was expecting Banza to be “hummus with cheese,” which sounds good to some people, but not to me. I doubt it was visible on camera but there was a glimmer of hope in my eyes when I bit into this back alley science experiment and didn’t immediately want to throw up. It wasn’t hummus at all, it was just a pretty normal pizza that happens to have a chickpea aftertaste. If you’re unfamiliar with the aftertaste of chickpeas, go eat literally anything where they are an ingredient. You’ll figure it out.

Pros:

• I didn’t cry on camera.

Cons:

• The aftertaste, as I mentioned, is a huge detraction. This pizza would be pretty impressive, otherwise. (-2 points)

• The lack of toppings makes me not want to ever seek this brand again. (-1 point)

7/10