A title as uninteresting as the pizza itself. They don’t offer a lot of topping options, unless you lean heavily into vegetables on pizza. I aint bout that life. I decided to just get a plain cheese, and even on the box it said “this is an offering for people that like to use their own toppings.” Now, that’s a crazy thing for a company to say. I’ve considered it, plenty of times, but I feel like it would ruin the spirit of this adventure. What Amy’s is really saying is they don’t give a shit, and they want you to spend more money on extra items. This is the freemium version of a pizza. This is a pizza that is sold with extra content, for a fee. Maybe if I had a brand of pepperoni I could fall back on, I wouldn’t be as insulted as I am, but I do not! This whole thing just feels incredibly lazy, much like the flavor itself. The crust is firm-ish, the sauce is bland, the cheese is bland, and there’s very little of it.

Pros:

• Build your own pizza (sorta?).

Cons:

• Barely any cheese on this cheese pizza (???). (-2 points)

• Very bland, inoffensive flavor. Nothing special here. Nothing bad, but nothing good. (-3 points)

5/10

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.