Frozen Pizza Ratings

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7th Avenue Heaven

Here we go with some bullshit, I guess. The website claims they make “premium thin crust pizza.” What in the fuck does that mean, “premium?” I hope the pope blessed this somehow. This pizza was touched by an angel but the angel was kind of shitty, and so is the pizza.

Pros:

  • Decent crust

Cons:

  • Not enough cheese. (-1 point)

  • I felt like I was drunk and shoveling this in my body in a desperate attempt to sober up so I can drive home without hitting a family pet (-1 point)

  • Most generic/bland flavor I’ve had in a while (-1 point)

6/10

I really wanted to give them a 7/10 to go with the whole number 7 theme, but this isn’t “23” and I’m not Jim Carrey (I believe in vaccinations). It also wasn’t very good.