I’ve finally found it. After 30 years of not actually looking for it because why would I ever want it? It’s the shitty high calorie pizza they serve at every gross smelling buffet in America! The legend made flesh! This was the second pizza I did not finish, and it was actually by choice, because it was horse shit.

Pros:

• It was pizza

Cons:

• The crust felt and tasted like a wet sponge. (-1 point)

• There were like 4 pepperonae on this entire thing, I can only assume they cheap out on other toppings. (-1 point)

• The cheese/ketchup combo just forgot to have a flavor. Oops! (-1 point)

• It was a very wet pizza. Felt like I was eating a bread pudding or something. (-1 point)

• Considering all of the above, this whole thing is around 2500 calories. Truly remarkable. (-1 point)

5/10

hey there, sports fan